Why You Show Up
People do not keep showing up because they were told to. Three things keep them coming back — having some say in what they do, feeling like they are getting better at it, and belonging to the people doing it. Take any one away and attendance drops, whatever the programming looks like.
Autonomy — having some say
Ask who wants to own something before assigning it. Share the goal and the constraints, then leave the method to them.
- "I'd like someone to lead the community service planning — who wants to own this, and what would you need?" rather than "Alex, you're doing community service planning."
- "What do you think we should do here?" before "Here's what I think we should do."
- Kills it: micromanaging a task you delegated, overriding a decision without explaining why, handing out yes/no jobs that are never real ownership.
Competence — getting visibly better
Calibrate the task just above where someone currently is. Too easy and they drift; too hard and they shut down.
- Stretch assignments for members who have mastered their current role — with the support said out loud.
- Break big tasks down for new members. Small wins are what build the base.
- Name specific growth in public: "I want everyone to know how that was handled this week — that was not easy, and it was excellent."
Relatedness — belonging to the people
Members who feel they belong show up, contribute, and recruit. Members who do not quietly disappear.
- Learn every member's name and one specific thing about them within three meetings.
- Connect members to each other, not only to you: "Have you met — you two should talk about this."
- Make the mission concrete: name the ward, the event, the people reached. Specificity beats abstraction.
- Missing two consecutive meetings with no contact is a belonging signal, not an attendance one. Reach out personally within 48 hours.
Do this
- Pick one member who has been doing the same task for more than two months. Decide whether they are still growing.
- Look at your last three chapter decisions and count how much of the input was yours versus the team's.
- Transfer one decision to a member this week, and say what the constraints are rather than how to do it.
Where it shows up: Officer team meetings, and the recruitment conversation in the first month of the year.
Coach note
Grounded in
Deci & Ryan. Relatedness section draws on Baumeister & Leary (1995); the challenge-skill calibration draws on Csikszentmihalyi.